Agyness Deyn

Buenosdías mi limón,

So what makes a French man French? Is it their Dior handbags? Or, the fact that their penchant for dressing down is inversely proportional to their propensity for acting up? Their poor hygiene? No, that would be targeting the whole population of France, and that would be racist, and we all know that racists don’t get much action, beyotch. But then again, during summer ’08, I do remember ads lining the walls of the Métro for products that would kill body lice. And then there was the friend I phoned one Sunday, who told me he couldn’t meet me because Parisians stayed in on Sunday to bathe and wash their hair... Back to the point, I guess it would have to be their flagrant disregard for any other nationalities bar their own. The way that they can chat to their bosses like old chums, but when a stereotypical tourist asks for directions, they turn their heads away in disgust. That is a French man, but what makes me lemon, lime and bitter?

The bizarre dichotomy in my schizophrenic nature, well… more like, my two-faced, backstabbing, double-crossing temperament, is wrong and I need to re-evaluate myself. Schizophrenia, or any mental illness that I illegitimately diagnose myself with is just an excuse to pardon my sociopathic tendencies.

What I do with new people I meet, like any new toy of mine, is to love them, cherish them for no more than a week, and then dump them for some newer, trashier piece of fascination. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, I get bored easily. I crave for new sensations, not always ensuring that I keep my old fascinations around long enough to remember them. Lately, nothing and no one has caught my attention. Let me rephrase that, lately, nothing and no one is worthy of my attention. Like, apart from the tedious habitual courses in life, like eating, blah blah blah, there is nothing else to entertain myself with. Three months ago, it was meeting a bunch of new people at university, but then, as predicted, they turned out to be -null-.

Agyness Deyn (Right): My first commitment.

You'll never let me down, Aggy.

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